Violence, and the threat of it, is often a reality. People are sometimes violent and in that state, they only act in - and react to - more violence. However, if in response to this we only act in violence ourselves, we end up just propagating more of the same.
Violence does not change minds. No one can be attacked into agreeing with you. It does not work. Decades and decades of American foreign policy should have made that absolutely and bloodily clear. You can sometimes use violence to change behavior, but attacking people into behaving as you want is the heart of authoritarianism - a dangerous path to start down, and not constructive in a pluralistic democracy. People should defend themselves if they have to, yes, but if we start with that, if we look for fights, we are not a "defender".
It's important to always be open to the chance of dialogue, to actively pursue it, because that is the only thing that ends up breaking the cycle of violence. If all we do is spout anger and hate, people simply react to that and see us - the angry “other” - as a threat. When people get into that fight-or-flight "there's threats all around” mindset, reason breaks down, and adrenaline takes over. We all react poorly under those circumstances.
In 2001, as a student at UCCS, I argued that if the US response to terrorism is only violence, all we'll do is make martyrs and spread more terrorism. I was right. And I am still saying the same thing: If our response to neo-nazis and white nationalism is only violence, all we'll do is make martyrs and spread more white nationalism.
Last year, when Trump came to town during his campaign, I was at the protest. I held a sign that said “Open Arms Make Us Great” and below it was written “Think we disagree? Say hi! Let’s have a conversation.” That day I spoke to a large number of Trump supporters. Some came up to me, some I approached. Did I change any minds right then and there? Honestly, I doubt it. But changing a mind right then and there is also not the point. Minds will or will not change on their own, what we need to do is help them understand new perspectives. I did do that.
I spoke to a husband who supported Trump and whose wife was strongly against him; I asked him why he supported the man, and he asked me why I was against him. We talked about our hopes for the country and our worries for what the election might bring. He left openly doubting his support.
I spoke to a man who was screaming “No, all lives matter!” at some folks with a “Black Lives Matter” sign. I asked him if he thought black lives didn’t matter. “No”, he said “of course I think they matter”. “So why are you saying ‘no’ when they say ‘Black Lives Matter’? Shouldn’t you at least be saying ‘yes, and also…’?”. He looked confused for a bit, unsure of what to say, then wandered to the back of the crowd. He started up his yelling again shortly after.
I approached a man in a Trump t-shirt who was there with his family, and started to greet him, when he interrupted me; “I don’t want to talk to you. All you liberals want to do is to talk, you never want to listen.” “Actually,” I said “I was going to ask you why you support Trump, why you think he’d be good for the country.” He was a bit surprised by this, but he told me all his reasons. And then, having been heard, he was ok hearing my thoughts on what he said as well. We had a good, long, conversation.
There were a lot of other encounters like that. Were minds changed? I can’t say. I do know that some people came away with a slightly different understanding of anti-Trump people than they came with. A better understanding. To them, I wasn’t the caricature “liberal” I started out as. I was a person.
And I admit, this is often a lot easier for me to say and do, even though it’s not always easy, as it is for others. I have plenty of privilege in my favor in this regard. I am not trying to condemn anyone. I am trying to encourage.
The real enemy, in the end, is not people: It is toxic ideas. Ideas are defeated by other ideas, not by fear, not by intimidation, and not by violence. So speak for what needs to be spoken for. Stand for what needs to be stood for. And yes, fight for what needs to be fought for.
But in that order.
Each and every time, in that order.
Note: The opinions expressed in this piece are the author's and not necessarily those of Unite Colorado Springs